By Bill Fox/Columnist
– Before deciding to retire from your job, stay at home for a week and watch daytime television.
– A recent retiree says he is tired of retirement: “I wake up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime I only have it half done.”
– Retirement happens when you overachieve in the area of experience.
– One wife about retirement: “Twice as much husband for half the income.”
– When a man retires and time is no longer of importance, his colleagues go and present him with a watch.
– Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money
– It gets to you when everyday is a Saturday.
– Retirement has cured many a businessman’s ulcer – and given his wife one.
– Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
– Retirement is wonderful if you have much to live on and/or much to live for.
– When some people retire it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference.
– One of the problems about retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.
– I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it is time for my nap.
– I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.
– The biggest trouble with retiring is you end up having nothing to do and you can’t tell when you are done.
– A retiree says he’s been playing golf occasionally – but only on the days starting with “T”, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Today and Tomorrow.
– The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
– Retired is being tired twice. First tired of working, then tired of not.
– The only problem with retirement is you never get a day off.
– The other bad thing about retirement is, you can’t call in sick.
– You are ready for retirement when half the things in your shopping cart say: “For fast relief.”
– Retirement is a night owl’s dream – you finally don’t have to do mornings.
– I’m retiring I’m not dying.
– Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last day; one day you will be right about it.
– “Retire? I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the only one left.” – George Burns
– “Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.” – George Burns
– “Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. It means I have a choice.” – Dianne Nahirny
– “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” – Vince Lombardi
– “It is nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret
– “I think retirement beats the heck out of ‘life after death’.” – Martina Navratilova
– “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” – Fred Rogers
– “As your life changes, it takes time to recalibrate, to find your values again. You might also find that retirement is the time when you stretch out and find your potential.” – Sid Miramontes
– Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
I’m at firstname.lastname@example.org if you care to comment.