Trying my best not to judge others

By Bill Fox/Columnist

Readers, I hope you are not as judgemental as I find myself. Or are you?

When I was first moving to Oshawa more than 30 years ago, a well intentioned friend from Whitby told me that I would see a lot of women wearing hockey jackets here. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, but because that was put in my mind, I did notice an unusually large number of women wearing hockey jackets. I would hate to think that this is a significant characteristic of Oshawa when there are so many other features worthy of mention.

So on my recent weeks in California, I had no expectations, but secretly thought I might run into Trump supporters. In fact, while at a Walgreens Pharmacy, I told the clerk that I was from Canada and had no Walgreens card. Like I found in other stores, I was kindly given the discount that would come with the card regardless. But a lady behind me at the pharmacy mentioned that she was praying for my country.

My first reaction was to tell her I’m praying for America, especially if Trump is elected. However, I then realized that the American news was full of the Fort McMurray fires and her intentions were very honourable. I have to say I felt a bit foolish, not realizing how much American news was focused on the “the city in Canada that was burning down.”

Now, one pre-conceived notion I had about America was that their meals at restaurants were very large. I can say that after a filling breakfast, there was no need for lunch or snacking. The dinners were in fact much larger than what we would usually be served in Canadian restaurants. I love my desserts, but could not indulge as I had difficulty eating the entire main course at most sittings.

At one favourite sports bar restaurant, I was astonished at the number of obese young people in their 30s. I confess, I myself am 50 pounds overweight, so again I should not judge. However, some of these poor people could not help having their thighs rubbing together as they walked. One gentleman, who could have used two chairs, I thought for sure was going to break the one chair he was sitting on. I will confess to breaking more than one chair with my weight, so I knew what I was talking about. Thankfully it never happened.

I have to remember that each of us is so different. We may have different motives, controlled by different circumstances in our lives, and influenced by different surroundings. We cannot possibly know all the influences and sufferings that have gone to make up a personality. I should know much better, having taught thousands of students, many of which came from difficult circumstances. For many of those, I had to make allowances for their academic success and even their behaviour.

The point of this column is that it is so easy to judge what we do not know. Thankfully in California, I met so many great, kind people, and I’m sure there are “Trumpeteers,” but I never met any.

You can judge me at bdfox@rogers.com.