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Remember, you have to smile

By Bill Fox/Columnist

I am always amazed at the increased church attendance for celebrations like Christmas or Easter. I have often seen people like my lawyer or banker at our church, never even realizing they were Christians. I like to think optimistically that they and many others continue to be spiritual but choose not to attend church on a regular basis, for whatever reason. For those folks and the regular attendees, I offer some Christian one-liners that were sent my way by a friend:

  • Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
  • Some people are kind, polite, and thoughtful, until you try to sit in their pews.
  • Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
  • It is easier to preach 10 sermons than it is to live one.
  • The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
  • I don’t know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
  • People are funny; they want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and back of the church.
  • Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
  • Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.
  • If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
  • Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.
  • God Himself doesn’t propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
  • Some minds are like concrete – thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
  • Peace starts with a smile.
  • Forbidden fruits create many jams
  • God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
  • Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
  • He who angers you, controls you!
  • You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him/her.
  • There is no greater treasure than a good friend!

Finally, one theory of why people don’t attend church more regularly is because of church bulletins like the following examples that might scare a lot of people away:

  • Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the church hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
  • Due to the rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
  • The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing Break Forth Into Joy.
  • Thursday at 5:00 p.m., there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be “Little Mothers” will meet with the pastor in his private study.
  • Nick Flynn and Michelle Schneider were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of Jeffrey David Hoover, the sin of Reverend Larry and Linda Hoover.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the hall after the B.S. is done.
  • Let us join Bob and Judy in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.
  • Peter and Linda request your presents at their wedding.
  • The concert held in the hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
  • Weight Watchers meeting changed to next Saturday, please use the large side doors.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.