By Bill Fox/Columnist
Why do all flavours of fruit loops taste exactly the same?
Why are eggs packaged in a flimsy paper carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails, yet light bulbs too are in a flimsy carton?
Ever buy scissors? You need scissors to cut into the packaging of scissors.
I still don’t understand why there is Braille on drive up ATM’s or why “abbreviated” is such a long word; or why there is a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts?” Where’s that extra penny going?
Why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?
Just what is Victoria’s secret?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Can crop circles be square?
Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hotdogs? Why are there no ‘B’ batteries?
Are eyebrows considered facial hair? How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
If a kid refuses to sleep during naptime, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
If you are bald, what hair colour do they put on your driver’s license?
Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
What is a picture of a thousand words worth? Why does quicksand work slowly?
Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?
Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth changes the direction of a bowling ball?
How can something be “new” and “improved”? If it’s new, what was it improving on?
Is a pessimist’s blood type B-negative?
Why is it that when we “skate on thin ice,” we can “get in hot water?”
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why does grape flavour smell the way it does when actual grapes don’t taste or smell anything like it?
Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?
What was Captain Hook’s name before he got the hook?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They’re going to see you without your clothes on anyway.
How far east can you go before you’re heading west?
How does a real estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
When lightning strikes the ocean, why don’t all the fish die?
Can atheists get insurance for an act of God?
Why do people never say, “it’s only a game” when they’re winning?
Why is the man who invests your money called a “broker?”
Why is Trump still in power and how bad will COVID-19 get in our best neighbour’s country?
Finally, my barber believes in psychics so can he plan a surprise birthday party for his psychic?
I’m at Bdfox@rogers.com if you wish to send your answers.