The Kellam family: Bringing hope when there is none

By Chris Jones/The Oshawa Express

When entering McIntosh-Anderson-Kellam (MAK) Funeral Home one can feel the sense of family values that has accrued after decades of business.

For most, entering a funeral home can be a daunting task since it is usually to make funeral arrangements or to pay respects to someone they’ve lost. For the Kellam’s however, it’s about making everyone feel comfortable and able to mourn.

Originally founded in 1853 by the Luke family, it was called Luke Brothers Furniture and Undertakers and was situated at 63 King Street East in Oshawa.

John Kellam, the Kellam family’s patriarch, explains that while they made and sold furniture, the Luke family also provided undertaking services.

Eventually, Joseph Luke sold the family business to William Ambrose Luke, who wanted to focus on the furniture side of the business, and sold the undertaking business to his brother-in-law Albert Crowle.

Crowle then renamed the business Luke Burial Company and relocated it to 11 Simcoe Street South.

By 1925, the business had grown, so the company relocated back to its original location. It was then sold to Mr. Creighton, who would operate the business until 1933, when he sold it to C. Roy McIntosh.

Once again, the business was relocated, this time by McIntosh, to the Drew house at 152 King Street East, which is now part of the current location.

After being purchased by McIntosh, the business was then renamed Luke-McIntosh Funeral Home.

In 1935, Joseph Anderson joined the funeral home as a funeral director, and would become a partner in 1960. The name was changed to McIntosh-Anderson Funeral Home to reflect the new ownership.

Eventually, as the business grew, the Holden house next door was purchased and connected to the funeral home. This was done in order to accommodate the increasing needs of the Oshawa and Durham community.

In 1968, the business was sold to Donald Spiers, who, after working at various funeral homes in Toronto since 1946, wished to return home to Oshawa.

In 1994, Spiers was looking to retire, so he sold the business to John Kellam and his wife Willie, the current owners. In 2010, the business was once again renamed. This time the name of the business became McIntosh-Anderson-Kellam, or MAK Funeral Home, as it is known today.

John, a funeral director for more than 40 years, met Willie through a mutual friend. When they bought the funeral home, Willie, who was a registered nurse at Toronto General Hospital, left that position to become a bookkeeper for the funeral home.

“That was quite a jump,” she chuckles.

“She had to nurse the books a little bit, I guess,” John adds with a laugh.

John says that he began working as a funeral director because “growing up on a farm in a rural community, coming from a large family connection with friends, it’s like I was always going to funerals.”

John says that he still remembers his first funeral when he was six years old. It was his grandfather’s brother’s funeral. A year later his grandfather died as well. His grandfather’s visitation took place at his house, and John hoped for a picture.

“I remember a neighbour who had just bought a Polaroid camera, and I asked him, ‘Can you take a picture?’” says John.

He says that his mother would always go to funerals in order to support families and show that she cared.

John adds that he was inspired by the Woodbridge funeral director who looked after his grandfather.

“You’d always see them in church and, you know, you’d be going to the funeral home. So I always looked up to him as somebody you respected in the community.”

In Grade 13, in the late 1960s, a new type of math was introduced in high school, and that put a wrench in his original plans to become an agricultural representative. Afterwards, he contemplated being a police officer, but since he wears glasses he was ineligible at the time.

“After doing some soul searching and sitting in a funeral home for a visitation, I thought ‘I might give this some thought,’” explains John. “So I went to have a talk with the Scott’s in Woodbridge. He made a few phone calls and within a couple of weeks I was transplanted from the farm into the east end of Toronto, just off Danforth Avenue at McDougall and Brown.”

John also notes that, after he completed a Myers-Briggs test, the information stated that he should be one of two things: a farmer or a funeral director.

John says that the person who elicited the test said, “I guess the one thing it all boiled down to is that you function best when you are given a position of being entrusted with something.”

Over the years John and Willie had three sons, Jason, Shawn and Jeff, who now have children of their own. Jason and his wife have three daughters, Shawn has two, and Jeff has one son.

John says that whenever the opportunity presents itself, it’s great to get the whole family together at the cottage, which they purchased when John turned 60. “It’s allowed us some family time, whenever we can get there.”

When talking about their children, one can sense the pride in their voices.

Their oldest son, Jason, works for Acklands-Grainger, a distributor of industrial supplies. He and his wife have three daughters.

“When he finished university at Laurentian, he had always planned on traveling, and at the time he had a job with Grand and Toy, so they gave him a leave of absence to get that out of his system,” says John. “They gave him six months with the idea that when he came back there would be another position opening up for him.”

Jason and a friend spent six months traveling around Europe. However, along the way something happened that would make Jason’s future just a bit more interesting.

“He met somebody,” chuckled John. “Then they bumped into one another again somewhere else. Then she invited him back to Milan [Italy] to meet her parents.”

Laughing, John and Willie described how Jason and his wife got married three times.

“To get married in Italy, they had to be married in a civil service first,” explains Willie. “So we did that in secret here in Canada. Then her parents came here and they went to city hall, and then they went to Italy for the actual wedding. But then a lot of our friends couldn’t go (to Italy), so they had another wedding here.”

According to Willie, Shawn only got married once, as he had his wedding in Whitby, while Jeff had to get married twice because his wedding was in the Dominican Republic.

Shawn and Jeff, who are both funeral directors, each married funeral directors. One of them works at Cardinal Funeral Home in downtown Toronto, while the other works where John used to work, McDougall and Brown Funeral Home in Scarborough.

“It’s come full circle,” laughs Willie.

After recently spending time with three of their grandchildren, John says that they are all “an absolute delight.”

When Jason and his wife went to Las Vegas to celebrate her 40^th birthday, their three daughters got to spend some quality time with their grandparents.

“It wasn’t as bad as we thought it was going to be,” John says with a chuckle.

“They’re busy,” says Willie. “They’re involved in Brownies and Guides, and Sparks and gymnastics and swimming.”

While the girls were with them, John says that it was special for them because they were able to help set up Willie’s nativity scene.

“Willie’s got this nativity scene that goes from one end of the house to the other,” says John as he gestures widely.

Willie says that it’s the whole town of Bethlehem, while John also notes that it’s the surrounding suburbs as well.

“There are little kiosks, where the fisherman has his little stall and he’s selling fish, and the baker has his stall,” explains Willie. “But there are houses and there’s an inn and a shepherd encampment. So when the girls were over they wanted to put the village up.”

John says that the highlight of working in and owning a funeral home is “being able to serve. The rewards are when families acknowledge the help that you’ve given them.”

He also mentions an award he received in 2008 from the Greater Oshawa Chamber of Commerce. He was named Business Person of the Year for 2008.

“I’ve had other awards from the Lions Club for being involved with Lions for years,” says John, although he points out that his greatest rewards are having his sons Shawn and Jeff starting to take over the business and having had the opportunity to have Willie as a partner in the business.

Willie says that the whole family was proud of John for winning his awards. “It isn’t just being here at the funeral home, it’s being out in the community and doing all the community stuff that really is the reason you’re chosen. It’s how involved you are and how you run your business. I think the fact that he got the award was impressive. We never dreamt that we were anything special.”

Two of John and Willie’s three sons would join the family business. Jeff and Shawn are currently working as funeral directors at MAK.

“We’re pleased that they stayed and joined the business,” says John.

While Shawn and Jeff say that their parents have essentially retired, John and Willie still have a vital role in the company, with John still playing a part in the day-to-day business.

“Growing up was always nice to be around the family,” says Shawn.

“Sometimes you take your work home with you, but at the same time it’s nice knowing that it’s your parents that you’re working with and they can’t fire you,” says Shawn, causing a laugh from the family at the table.

Shawn notes that these days his parents are mostly retired. “We don’t really see them around the workplace too much anymore. They just collect their paycheques,” he jokes.

On working with family, Jeff says, “It definitely has its challenges, working for your family, compared to working for someone else. But I think at the end of the day it’s rewarding.”

Growing up, Shawn says that their parents were very supportive. “They basically supported any of our decisions, even though growing up we were working on our way to doing other things and generally, when it came down to it, working here was what we wanted to do in the end. They didn’t pressure us either way.”

Shawn also notes that while he and Jeff eventually returned to the family business, their older brother, Jason, went and did his own thing, and their parents were very supportive of his decisions in life.

Jeff says that his parents were extremely hard working while they were growing up. “My Mom and Dad both worked late hours and shift work while at the same time looking after three boys, which we know wasn’t very easy – I have one,” Jeff laughs. “Dad put in long, hard days and worked a lot of evenings and weekends and holidays.”

He notes that looking after him and his two brothers was never an easy thing to do.

“I was a Beaver leader, a Cub leader, transporting them here and there for stuff because John was never home, he was always working,” says Willie.

Shawn says that he wants to tell his parents, “We love them very much. We’re very happy with the life that they’ve given us and the support that they’ve provided to us growing up and continuing to do that going forward.”

With a chuckle, Jeff says that he wants to tell them, “Pretty much what Shawn just said.”

 

BEHIND THE WRITING

By Chris Jones/The Oshawa Express

Lately I’ve been writing about charities or organizations that aim to help improve Oshawa and it’s community, but now I want to talk about some of the people.

I admit, when I got to MAK Funeral Home for my interview with the Kellams, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. I’d heard only good things about the Kellam family, but still, like most people my experiences in a funeral home weren’t exactly…well, the best experiences.

So, despite my trepidation, I met Shawn Kellam at the door and he took me to meet his parents. I ended up sitting and chatting with them for an hour and a half. They were honestly some of the kindest people I’ve met during my tenure at The Oshawa Express (keep in mind I’ve been doing stories on charities and the like, so I’ve met some very kind people lately).

They went out of their way to make me feel comfortable. All I could think was, “I’m the one conducting an interview. Isn’t it my job to make them feel comfortable?”

Not only that, but MAK Funeral Home has a very family oriented feel to it. They don’t do their job just for the sake of doing business, but in order to be there for the community, and that is very clear in not only their demeanor, but also the building itself.

While I wasn’t able to meet Jason, their oldest son, I was still able to see the strong bond that this family has. It’s something that many people long for in their lives, but never find.

They were joking with one another, laughing, doing business, and simply being a family. It was a pleasure to witness that, and I’m glad they welcomed me into their lives, even if it was only for an hour and a half.

In the end, any trepidation I felt was gone, and I’m thankful for my opportunity to work with the Kellams.