Taking back the night, one step at a time

By Dave Flaherty/The Oshawa Express

For victims of rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence, the challenge is often taking back control of their life, but a united front of women, men and children went a step further this past week.

The Durham Rape Crisis Centre hosted its 25th annual Take Back The Night event on Sept. 21, bringing together victims, their friends and families, supporters, centre staff and the community at large.

As the congregation marched down Simcoe Street in Oshawa, escorted by the Durham Regional Police Service and Oshawa Fire Services, they asserted that women and children have the right to live without fear of sexual violence.

April, whose last name wasn’t shared to protect her identity, is a former victim of sexual violence, and she spoke candidly about her experience.

Noting that she faced ridicule from both police and the general public, April says initially she felt “disgusted” with herself “because she finally spoke up.”

In addition to this, she said she felt “shame” and that she did not “deserve anything good.”

“It impacted me, my family, my children and my friends,” she admitted emotionally.

However, April says she “allowed the good to overcome the bad”, and with the help of loved ones and support from staff at the centre, she began to “take back her life” and she will no longer allow what happened to her define who she is.

“Still I stand strong. I have no shame now because it’s not mine to have,” she says.

The evening began with a series of speakers at YWCA Durham.

Lynn Cohen, a staff member at the centre, says it is “pretty incredible to see all these people who come year after year.”

For many years Take Back The Night was a women-only event, but Cohen says they were sharing “such an important message it needed to be shared with everyone.”

“We welcome all. Partly, because there are wonderful, amazing men who come to support the women in [their] lives,” Cohen says. “And at the end of the day, we are all human beings. We should all the enjoy the rights.”

Noting that while the majority of sexual violence is male-on-female, Cohen advised, “anyone can be a victim, and anyone can be a perpetrator.”

Oshawa Mayor John Henry provided “sincere thanks” on behalf of the city to the centre for the work they perform in the community.

“Thank you for taking a stand against violence against women and children,” Henry stated. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we solved the problems of violence against families and it started tonight.”

Five years ago at the 20th Take Back The Night, messages from participants were placed in a time capsule to be opened five years later.

Cohen says because there were so many messages were shared, event organizers did not have enough time to read them all aloud but instead chose to display a selected number on a large bulletin board.

“It’s just really incredible to see all these messages.”

The Take Back The Night movement began in the 1970s to protest violence against women and support the rights of women and children to walk freely in their communities at night without fear of rape, sexual assault, and harassment.