Advice and observations…not all mine!

By Bill Fox/Columnist

It’s amazing how the police report that every night, cars struck several pedestrians and unfortunately as in this past week, some don’t survive. Drivers blame pedestrians for jay walking and pedestrians blame drivers for driving recklessly. But here is what I’m wondering: what colour is your winter coat or jacket?

One of my jackets is black leather and my coat is a darker blue. What I’m noticing is that the police on the news giving these reports are dressed in luminous light green jackets. It made me realize and observe that almost everyone I see has darker winter coats and jackets! This can only contribute to the problem! Sometimes at night, especially if raining, it is very difficult to make out pedestrians all decked out in dark colours. Someone needs to start a chain of winter coats in bright reflective colours!

On a lighter note, someone sent me these little tidbits of advice and observations this past week. I thought some of them worthy of sharing here:

• If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people, which may explain why some people gravitate to me!
• Negative people have a problem for every solution.
• Answers are what we have for other people’s problems.
• When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
• Whoever said money wouldn’t buy you happiness just didn’t know where to shop!
• If you think no one cares if you’re dead or alive, miss a couple of credit card payments!
• If you lend someone money and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
• A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that you can get from your wife for free.
• An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have – the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
• The only thing I understand about algebra – I look at my X and I wonder Y!
• I’m not as think as you confused I am!
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• It is not that I trust you. I am just feeling lazy today.
• Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
• Excuse my naivety – I was born at a very early age.
• I’d like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?
• “Women are cursed, and men are the proof.” – Roseanne Barr
• “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.” – Henny Youngman
• “I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
• “What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money, but doesn’t understand math.” – Mike Birbiglia
• “My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
• “It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.” – Nick Hornby
• “Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.” – Groucho Marx
• “A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” – Lucille Ball

I’m at bdfox@rogers.com if you need to feel thin and young!