Latest News

Who doesn’t need to laugh a little more?

Bill FoxI have a friend with seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD seems to be confined to the winter months. Many people with SAD escape to warmer climates and who can blame them? For those of us who don’t travel south, this time of year can be a difficult time as it is the colder and darker season. With this in mind, I found some funny alternate definitions that I thought might give us a good laugh or two, because I believe we all need to laugh more.
Take your time to think about these:
ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds.
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate.
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
HEROES: What a guy in a boat may have to do.
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.
MISTY: How golfers create divots.
PARADOX: Two physicians.
PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.
POLARIZE: What penguins see with.
PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.
RELIEF: What trees do in the spring.
RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.
SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.
SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official.
INKWELL: An accomplished tattooist.
MARITIME: The hour of a wedding.
COLANDER: Someone who arrives with you from the same plane.
CARNATION: Country where each family owns an automobile.
BENIGN: A half dozen plus three.
DILATE: To live a long life.
URINE: Where you are when you are not out.
BALDERDASH: A rapidly receding hairline.
DEFILE: remove from alphabetical order.
RECTUM: Almost killed him.
FLABBERGASTED: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained after the holidays.
If you have more, you can find me flabbergasted at ‘bdfox@rogers.com’