Time to lighten UP!

By Bill Fox/Columnist

At this time of isolation in our lives, it is important to exercise our brains and to keep a sense of humour.  I was sent some Churchillisms from a friend. I never realized that Winston Churchill apparently had quite a sense of humour as some of these quotes may indicate:

“Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a nice way they ask for directions.”

“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

“Life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut.”

Nancy Astor was said to have commented, “If I were your wife I would poison your coffee…”  To which Sir Winston Churchill promptly replied with “And if I were your husband, I would drink it”.

“We contend that for a nation to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.”

“We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.”

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.”

From another friend, I received some really interesting information that really made me think:

Did you know that there is one two-letter word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition? That word is UP. In fact it has more meanings than any other two-letter word.
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a large sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/2 of the page and can add UP to about 30 definitions.
It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times, this little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP!
Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
U
P !
Did that one crack you UP?
Don’t screw UP. Promise you will try to keep smiling all day today, as smiles are contagious. Now I’ll shut UP at bdfox@rogers.com.